Life is a circle. We've all heard that adage at one time in our lives. But have you ever stopped to ponder the idea about the fact that we aren't controlling our lives, but in fact, everything that we are to do has already been mapped out for us? The only we have to do is turn the key to unlock what lies behind the door. Are there instances in your lifetime that have been means to an ending? Or an event that started many years ago one way & by a twist of fate, ended right back where you started but you have found yourself in a different role? I found myself in this situation, more than once in my life and in ways, it's very cool to think about. But in other ways, it's kind of scary. Let me explain.
I end telling the Full Circle story as a great ice-breaker when I'm meeting new people. And when I tell them how I ended up to where I ended up, they usually have the same reaction, "Wow! That's so cool!" Technically, the idiom 'coming full circle' means coming back to the ORIGINAL state of affairs. So I guess it's fair to say that my experiences can be termed as 'deja vu' on some level. Songs have been written as well as books, poems, etc., on this subject. In the Buddhist culture, the Buddha says that everything is to come to full circle; meaning that, to every beginning, there is a definite ending point to all things, either figuratively or literally, depending on the circumstance. My personal accounts with coming full circle are quite humbling to me as I look upon the story of my life up to this point. Everybody who knows me, knows the story of how and when I was stricken with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, so I won't bore your with the details. What I will begin to tell you is that twenty-one, almost twenty-two years ago, I was a patient at a facility called The Rehabilitation Institute (TRI). Since being discharged from there, I was drawn to it from time to time throughout the years and thinking about the days I spent there as a patient. Being wheeled along the grounds of the campus, taking part in activities and making connections with a lot of friendly people. As the years passed and found out that I wanted to work with children, I found myself in a lot of jobs at places that I knew I didn't fit deep in my gut. But I was too busy chasing dreams of wanting something more to even notice. The universe had something better in store...much better.
When I was employed in a local school district, I had been browsing the Internet one afternoon at home and on a hunch or just being bored, I logged onto The Children's Institute website. The Children's Institute is the updated name of the aforementioned Rehabilitation Institute. Not expecting to find much in ways of jobs that I would be qualified for, I checked out the job postings and found a listing for a Teacher's Assistant. Thoughts ran through my mind, "Should I apply? What if I get/don't get the job? I have to admit that at the time, I was very comfortable in my current job status. But something in the back of my mind told me to apply and I submitted my application right then. I was called in for an interview the next week. Emotions were flooding my mind and it wasn't just because of the prospective job position. Some people have mixed emotions when it comes to re-visiting the place that you spent so many weeks in, mind you in a wheelchair paralyzed. I, on the other hand, was excited to see how the place had changed. I remember walking into the very entrance that so many years ago, I had been brought in on a stretcher at ten years old. Some things about the layout did change. What used to had been a hospital unit was now a school and classrooms. I looked at every face as they rounded the bend to see if I knew them. Some I did, some I didn't but I'll tell you something, I knew more people than those I didn't. Some of the nurses and doctors STILL worked there. I wanted to go up to them and say, "Do you remember me??! You were my nurse 20 years ago!" but I dismissed the notion because to them, I would've sounded like a crazy person. I then met with my interviewers.
Not even a week had passed and I was eating lunch with a fellow teacher and my phone started to vibrate....it was the Institute! I answered and was offered the position! I was so happy I ran to tell my cooperating teacher I worked with who knew I had applied and told her. She was extremely happy and elated for me.
A week before the students started back from the summer at the Institute (CI for short), I went in for in-service week. I still remember my hire date: August 10, 2010. I was faced with a lot of faces that I didn't know, but I didn't care. I was home...so to speak. Over the past four years, I still have moments of waxing sentimentality where I stop myself and think, "I used to roam these halls day and night doing therapy, going for medical tests, etc., and now, I'm an employee here. This may not seem like a lot to you, but for me, it's very humbling. I now have the opportunity to give back to the very people who helped me return to being a functional member of society. There's something very cool about that and not many people can say that they have had this type of experience. I definitely believe that we are all having a very human experience and that each of us are no more than spirits inhabiting human vessels. I also believe that destiny is in full swing at every moment of our lives because there are things that can't be explained by scientific fact. I feel if you find yourself in a similar situation such as mine, take it all in and embrace it. Then use what you've learned to help others. I look at my students now with a much different perspective of my colleagues. I've have been where they are. Sure, my circumstances were different but I do share an unspoken bond with my students. So when I'm frustrated or tired, I remind of that fact and I usually end up smiling:) It's funny the way things happen sometimes, don't you think??
Another story where 'coming full circle' comes into play in my life, is kind of a piggyback off of the above story I just explained. Thirteen years ago, I was a member of the Norwin Show Choir during my senior year at Norwin High School. If you know or have heard about the Show Choir, you know they are highly regarded as having absolutely fantastic singers and great shows that they perform year-round. Once I graduated, I thought that that part of my life was over. We all think that with the things we left behind in our high school days....friends, activities, etc. Well, as divine intervention or fate would have it, I couldn't escape the Show Choir either! At CI, certain school choirs and other groups perform for the students year-round to showcase their talents. The Show Choir usually has two performances a year at CI and since my employment began, I've been honored to be able to have the chance to sing alongside these talented kids once again. My co-workers ask me from time to time about being in the Show Choir or asking me to 'teach them the moves' to certain dances. It's embarrassing on some level but I get a lot of pride from it too. Coincidentally, the Show Choir is performing tomorrow at work:) So I guess I'll be singing tomorrow afternoon!
No one knows the things that are in store for each of us. Or if the choices that we make from day to day impact our lives more than we know. All we really have to go on if faith and hope. I think hope is one of those 'must-haves' in life. If you don't have hope, you just die. You have to have some sort of feeling that everything is going to work out for the best or that things will fall into place. I think we're born with that instinctively. So, call it fate, call it divine intervention or karma....the Full Circle usually happens to each of us and it mostly when we're not expecting it.
I end telling the Full Circle story as a great ice-breaker when I'm meeting new people. And when I tell them how I ended up to where I ended up, they usually have the same reaction, "Wow! That's so cool!" Technically, the idiom 'coming full circle' means coming back to the ORIGINAL state of affairs. So I guess it's fair to say that my experiences can be termed as 'deja vu' on some level. Songs have been written as well as books, poems, etc., on this subject. In the Buddhist culture, the Buddha says that everything is to come to full circle; meaning that, to every beginning, there is a definite ending point to all things, either figuratively or literally, depending on the circumstance. My personal accounts with coming full circle are quite humbling to me as I look upon the story of my life up to this point. Everybody who knows me, knows the story of how and when I was stricken with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, so I won't bore your with the details. What I will begin to tell you is that twenty-one, almost twenty-two years ago, I was a patient at a facility called The Rehabilitation Institute (TRI). Since being discharged from there, I was drawn to it from time to time throughout the years and thinking about the days I spent there as a patient. Being wheeled along the grounds of the campus, taking part in activities and making connections with a lot of friendly people. As the years passed and found out that I wanted to work with children, I found myself in a lot of jobs at places that I knew I didn't fit deep in my gut. But I was too busy chasing dreams of wanting something more to even notice. The universe had something better in store...much better.
When I was employed in a local school district, I had been browsing the Internet one afternoon at home and on a hunch or just being bored, I logged onto The Children's Institute website. The Children's Institute is the updated name of the aforementioned Rehabilitation Institute. Not expecting to find much in ways of jobs that I would be qualified for, I checked out the job postings and found a listing for a Teacher's Assistant. Thoughts ran through my mind, "Should I apply? What if I get/don't get the job? I have to admit that at the time, I was very comfortable in my current job status. But something in the back of my mind told me to apply and I submitted my application right then. I was called in for an interview the next week. Emotions were flooding my mind and it wasn't just because of the prospective job position. Some people have mixed emotions when it comes to re-visiting the place that you spent so many weeks in, mind you in a wheelchair paralyzed. I, on the other hand, was excited to see how the place had changed. I remember walking into the very entrance that so many years ago, I had been brought in on a stretcher at ten years old. Some things about the layout did change. What used to had been a hospital unit was now a school and classrooms. I looked at every face as they rounded the bend to see if I knew them. Some I did, some I didn't but I'll tell you something, I knew more people than those I didn't. Some of the nurses and doctors STILL worked there. I wanted to go up to them and say, "Do you remember me??! You were my nurse 20 years ago!" but I dismissed the notion because to them, I would've sounded like a crazy person. I then met with my interviewers.
Not even a week had passed and I was eating lunch with a fellow teacher and my phone started to vibrate....it was the Institute! I answered and was offered the position! I was so happy I ran to tell my cooperating teacher I worked with who knew I had applied and told her. She was extremely happy and elated for me.
A week before the students started back from the summer at the Institute (CI for short), I went in for in-service week. I still remember my hire date: August 10, 2010. I was faced with a lot of faces that I didn't know, but I didn't care. I was home...so to speak. Over the past four years, I still have moments of waxing sentimentality where I stop myself and think, "I used to roam these halls day and night doing therapy, going for medical tests, etc., and now, I'm an employee here. This may not seem like a lot to you, but for me, it's very humbling. I now have the opportunity to give back to the very people who helped me return to being a functional member of society. There's something very cool about that and not many people can say that they have had this type of experience. I definitely believe that we are all having a very human experience and that each of us are no more than spirits inhabiting human vessels. I also believe that destiny is in full swing at every moment of our lives because there are things that can't be explained by scientific fact. I feel if you find yourself in a similar situation such as mine, take it all in and embrace it. Then use what you've learned to help others. I look at my students now with a much different perspective of my colleagues. I've have been where they are. Sure, my circumstances were different but I do share an unspoken bond with my students. So when I'm frustrated or tired, I remind of that fact and I usually end up smiling:) It's funny the way things happen sometimes, don't you think??
Another story where 'coming full circle' comes into play in my life, is kind of a piggyback off of the above story I just explained. Thirteen years ago, I was a member of the Norwin Show Choir during my senior year at Norwin High School. If you know or have heard about the Show Choir, you know they are highly regarded as having absolutely fantastic singers and great shows that they perform year-round. Once I graduated, I thought that that part of my life was over. We all think that with the things we left behind in our high school days....friends, activities, etc. Well, as divine intervention or fate would have it, I couldn't escape the Show Choir either! At CI, certain school choirs and other groups perform for the students year-round to showcase their talents. The Show Choir usually has two performances a year at CI and since my employment began, I've been honored to be able to have the chance to sing alongside these talented kids once again. My co-workers ask me from time to time about being in the Show Choir or asking me to 'teach them the moves' to certain dances. It's embarrassing on some level but I get a lot of pride from it too. Coincidentally, the Show Choir is performing tomorrow at work:) So I guess I'll be singing tomorrow afternoon! No one knows the things that are in store for each of us. Or if the choices that we make from day to day impact our lives more than we know. All we really have to go on if faith and hope. I think hope is one of those 'must-haves' in life. If you don't have hope, you just die. You have to have some sort of feeling that everything is going to work out for the best or that things will fall into place. I think we're born with that instinctively. So, call it fate, call it divine intervention or karma....the Full Circle usually happens to each of us and it mostly when we're not expecting it.
Very interesting reading. Thank you for your insight. Is it correct in my thinking and/or believing that if I have "come full circle", that my time here is almost done (especially considering the fact that I've recently been thinking of my childhood years and certain events surround them in more detail, much deeper, things that I'd thought I had forgotten. It's almost as though I can feel my end, or is it just a feeling of total contentment after a long period of negative events/issues in my past?
ReplyDelete