Failure, Acceptance, Determination & Drive: Like everything else in this world, this is a vicous cycle.

I'm crediting my friend, Tom Duer, with the inspiration for this blog entry. 

My good friend & trainer, Tom Duer.

After a somewhat long day in the classroom with the kiddos, I had a personal training session scheduled with my buddy Tom.  Tom is your typical bodybuilder/athlete/fitness model.  He has been featured in muscle magazines, completed in bodybuilding competitions and much more.  On the exterior, Tom looks like a rough and tough 26 year old guy...someone you wouldn't want to be in a bar fight with.  But as with the case of most personal trainers, there's a warm and compassionate guy on the inside, lying underneath all the muscle.

Anyway, Tom and I were discussing about him running in the Pittsburgh Half-Marathon 5K this past weekend.   Tom had been training for the marathon for a couple months, and in that time he had improved his running with sizable gains.  He had told me that even though his time was good (a personal best), there's always room for improvement.  I began telling him that I really am leery of running long distances like that but I have been in 5K's before and at the end of them I always have felt out of breath (more than a person should) and have had lower back pain as well.  This statement spring boarded a discussion that delved into underlying factors as to why I didn't run...mainly failure.  Not so much as feeling like one, but the prospect of feeling like one at the hands of becoming out of breath, not being able to run as far as other people and a few other reasons.  Tom went onto to say that he can kind of sympathize with the not being able to breath as he grew up with asthma, but there comes a point where you have to push through it.  One line he told me that stuck with me that he told me was "We all have the same ending point, a dirt box.  Until then, nobody can make things happen in your life but you."  As one trainer to another, I'm used to hearing and telling people things to help motivate and encourage them to reach their goals, no matter how far fetched they may seem.  I saw his tactic and I listened intently.  We all can learn something from people, especially those who have life experiences similar to your own as well as those that differ. 

I also went onto say that I feel like I should be able to run with less issues because most 30 (soon to be 31, AHHH!) year old men should have.  He reminded me that my case is not the typical...and yes, he's right, my history isn't the typical one.  I'm having to deal with little issues and annoyances that most men my age don't usually have to deal with.  I know I've said this in a previous entry before, but I'll reiterate it, I compare myself to people.  I've done that since as long as I can remember.  I told Tom this and his response was, "Stop it!"  I told him that it's easier said than done if your brain has been conditioned to think a certain way for over 20 years.  I know enough about personal training to know what I need to do, but sometimes it helps to hear it from another person.  Someone who has the knowledge and can be a support to help guide you through the issues you are having at the moment. 

His advice?  Start small.  Run for short distances, a few times a week and when I've mastered that, increase the intensity and/or distance.  He told me about an app for my iPhone called 'Couch25K'.  Basically, it walks you through how to train for a 5K  from start to finish.  I downloaded it and am going to start using it very soon.  It helps that it's now spring and I can utilize parks and such, instead of a treadmill in a gym.  If I'm going to walk or run, I need changing scenery, as is the case with most people.  I used to run all the time when I was a kid, but as circumstances played out, I lost the energy and drive for a while.  When I finally go tit back, I put running on the back burner.  I know I'll eventually get to the point to where I want to be with ALL of my fitness goals but like most people who have goals that they want to achieve, the yearning for the endpoint is always the hardest to overcome.  Fitness goals don't happen overnight, I know this.  You know this.  Anything worth having in this life requires work, sacrifice and determination. 

So think about what motivates you to be a better husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or friend.  How do you present yourself to others and what do you want them to take away from you?  When you walk into a room, do you want people to say "I want to be like him or He is a really great guy to know!"  Fitness and physicality goals are based on the underlying notion of failure.  Tom was saying that you can't get to the next level of anything unless you endure some level of failure.  The problem with me is that I tend to perseverate too much on the failure and not a lot on the next steps.  I never feel sorry for myself, but I do question my abilities when it comes to my health.  I tend to overthink things....for instance, when I feel a pain, no matter how small, I worry.  "OMG, I'm having a heart attack!" or "I'm going to have a brain aneurysm!"  We all do it on some level.  Over diagnose ourselves.  When the real news comes from our doctors, it's almost never as bad as we think it is.  It's never too bad to be over-cautious, right?  The neuropathy that I have doesn't really help matters, for instance.  Neuropathy is basically nerve pain resulting from exposed nerve fibers that lost myelin sheaths that cover the nerves (picture cable wiring).  During this past winter, I had days where I hurt, EVERYWHERE.  Although the pain was tolerable, it did worry me.  It had never felt that bad before.  I went to my doctor and she diagnosed me with Peripheral Neuropathy (Nerve pain located in your arms/legs).  But this taught me something though, nothing is every as bad as you think it is.  I had been experiencing nerve pain in my head and was having bouts of vertigo as well.  It was scary.  I thought I was going to have some sort of seizure, Bell's Palsy or something along those lines.  In case you didn't notice, I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac and I'm okay with that.  If that's all I have to deal with in life, I'll take it.  As the months got warmer, my head started to get better and now that the weather has been stable, I feel great!


But anyway, back to the original topic.  Everybody knows that I'm driven by people, mainly the people that I love.  I love seeing reactions from my friends when they haven't seen me in a while and they comment on my arms and chest being a little bit bigger and fuller.  It definitely is a confidence booster.  To quote Tom again, we are all looking at the same last page but it up to you to fill the chapters of your book with rich tales of adventure, risk and successes.  Thanks Tom!