Quit worrying about the end result; Emerge yourself in the substance.

Buff.  Hot.  Hunky.  The euphemisms for an attractive person can go on and on.  It's funny but search the word 'buff' and the first pic that comes up is the one above.  A muscular guy with a big chest and arms to match.   People who focus on reaching continuous goals and have high aspirations for themselves rarely seem to get discouraged or at least it appears that way, right?  I posted a quite on my Facebook wall about a year ago that said, "Face your workout demons."  For most, this is a continuous process and today, I along with my trainer and good friend, Tom, hashed some things out, in a positive way:)  I'm usually on the of those guys who appears to have very little stress, at least I make it seem that way.  i'm also the type who doesn't want to burden others with my small (or that's how they are to me) problems.  Even when I do make attempts, a lot of the time, people don't take the time to really listen.  I've said before that the problem with being a 'fixer' personality type is that no one ever listens to your problems when you have them.  People who work with people in their jobs possess a great gift of being able to inspire, motivate and ultimately change for the better a person's viewpoint on the negative things in their lives.  Learning how to talk to people and help them heal through inspirational words, lending a hand to guide you through the darkness..it's a lost art of sorts.  Which bring me to my conversation with Tom.

Tom Duer.  My trainer; my friend.

I sing the praises of Mr. Tom Duer a lot on this blog and rightfully so.  He's just a real good source of motivation for me, always offered pieces of advice that he has from his own personal experiences.  Anymore gloating about him and he's bound to get a swelled head!  I trained with Tom yesterday afternoon and towards the end of our session, I said, "I'm getting discouraged dude!"  Of course, he asked my why.  I continued by saying that my biceps and arms in general weren't as big as I'd like them to be.  Allow me to elaborate for a minute.  I've been working out on and off for about ten years now and although I'm in the best shape I've ever been in, I'm no where near how I WANT to look.  We can thank mainstream media for the Body Dysmorphia sweeping through the U.S. right now.  Constantly telling us that attractiveness and likability is based on if you have a six-pack, huge pecs or an overall bangin' body.  Most of Tom's job is mental.  He can teach and educate someone on how to life weights, use proper techniques, etc., but he is really a 'quasi counselor'.  Now I knew I wasn't going to get a short answer from Tom.  He may not be the most talkative guy, but when he does, listen.  You'll probably learn something about yourself that you didn't know or just haven't recognized in a while.  He started by saying that I shouldn't be discouraged because I'm right where I need to be on my journey.  If you were to put Tom and I next to each other, it's like day and night between us.  For myself, it's extremely discouraging on some levels because he possesses a physicality that I'll most likely never attain, let's be realistic here.  That's the funny and sick sense of humor that genes have.  Sure, you can try to go and push past your genetic barriers but at some point, you'll reach your limit, and that limit is never enough for you as a person.  So for the next ten minutes, I was allowed to sit on my 'pity pot' as Tom put it and vent my frustrations.  It's very rare that I do this but I felt the need to let it out.  Tom went onto say that I should focus on the positive aspects of who I am and the obstacles I have overcome.  Because of this little blog, I don't know who I'm inspiring but hopefully someone out there has gotten something out of something I've written.  Tom told me about a picture he saw on Instagram.  It was a quote that went something like 'Focus on the positive experiences...'.  He went onto say to also focus on the negative one as well because life isn't just made from the good moments but a mix of good and bad.  And we all know that it's the negative experiences that help us grow and change into the kind of people we want to be.  For someone who sees himself as somewhat physically inferior to most other people, having a muscular guy tell you that you are on the right track is very comforting.  Tom is one of those guys that if I was in high school or college, I probably would never talk to, mainly out of fears of rejection and embarrassment.  As always, another great conversation with Tom.  For a guy who when I met him described himself as a caveman, there are some brains in his head after all.  Thanks for the kind and inspiring words, Tom, every little bit helps!

So, what are your roadblocks and skeletons in your closed you have to overcome?  Something that it took me a while to figure out and was a long lesson to learn that I want to pass along is that's it's ok to not know all the answers right out of the gate.  Wen't not supposed to know everything and that's the beauty of life.  Never fully knowing the answers and always questioning things.  Whether your goal is to lost a few pounds, stop smoking or start up a relationship with someone special, keep in mind that YOU are inspiring somebody through your actions and the examples you're setting.  I'm not saying anything that a majority of you haven't hear before but it doesn't do any good if you don't believe it or put it into practice.  If food is you vice, start to make the change in small increments and increase those when you feel ready to.  Maybe you want to do it for someone in your life.  Maybe you have had more opportunities than that person.  Be a source of constant inspiration and give a tribute to them by doing whatever it was that they couldn't.

At the National Personal Training Institute where I'm currently taking a certification course, I usually post updates to my Facebook wall when I'm on break or when I get home.  I remember I posted something while on break on night.  I checked Facebook when class was over and was truly elated and taken by a comment that was left by my friend, Donnaie.  She said "Thanks for helping people like me."  Not being a certified trainer yet, I felt sort of guilty because I don't see or treat any clients yet, so I am really not doing much in ways of executing exercise programs and such, but I understood what she mean.  I almost started to tear up when I read the comment because it showed gratitude and i wasn't expecting it either.

These are reasons why we all need to stop hating and start listening.  We can learn a hell of a lot from people who have certain skill sets they can pass along.  At then end of the day, we are all just surviving.  Surviving, but also enjoying the natural topography of life's beautiful, crazy and mixed-up landscape.  Envision your life like the Yellow Brick Road from The Wizard of Oz.  Like Dorothy, you are in control, only you probably don't realize it in some situations.  You are thrust into certain happerenings along the way and how you react, is what gets you through.  The people you meet along the way act as guideposts to help you advance to the next step.  Hold close to those dear to you.  Learn from you mistakes and relish in you triumphs.  If you continue to learn and question, you will not faulter.  You will prevail in your Hero's Journey.

So what are you waiting for?  Answer the call!