I'm not a personal trainer.

After meeting with so many different people everyday, it's funny to think just how alike we are, despite out skewed and distorted views of each other.  When I sit down with someone, there's very little that I know about that person other than a name.  So I basically jump in with blinders on to try and assist that individual with whatever he or she needs from me on that given day.  HOLD UPPPP!  Let's talk about that word for a moment....need.  It's a very powerful word and holds massive substance and weight with it.  As opposed to 'want', when a person needs something from you, by definition that person is searching for something to help them live or succeed, as well as to be happy.  SO when I hear somebody say to me, "I need your help with..." my ears perk up, as most people's often do in times of crisis or when someone is genuinely asking for your help.  It's in our innate nature to reach out and help those who need it and in turn, we receive a greater intrinsic benefit of pride from knowing that we have done our very best to help somebody who really deserves a hand. 

Ask any personal trainer or health professional and I know my PT friends and colleagues will agree that clients view you as the be all, end all solution to their physical problems.  What most people who come to see me is that, very little has to do with their physical selves, but in turn their mental state of being and the health of their emotional state.  After speaking with a friend who sought me out for training services, I asked him what his initial expectations were BEFORE he met with me were.  He said that he saw me as one part of the puzzle and that I could only take a role in remedying his physical change.  Other people in his network of doctors, nutritionists, etc. took their respective roles up with him in their own specialties.  But he also added that a lot of people tend to think that we (trainers) are some sort of magicians, so to speak, at least from a desperate client perspective.  That we have some sort of magic formula for making you look hot and feeling great.  Well, sadly, I don't work at Hogwarts and Harry Potter is not supplying me with any magic spells to turn you from a skinny guy into Chris Hemsworth...it just doesn't happen like that, although who doesn't wish it was that easy??!  But again, if it were that easy, you wouldn't appreciate your struggle and secondly, you wouldn't learn any lessons from instantly getting what you wanted...isn't that what we tell our kids?  So why should it be any different for us adults?

Thinking about all of this reminds me of my own experience from the client perspective.  I was that person who thought they were going to be 'rescued' by their trainer and have them transform me into a buff god.  In turn, the trainers I had didn't rescue me but taught me how to save myself.  They provided me with the tools and their own experiences so I could eventually be in a place where I could help others the same way that I was helped.  BTW.....Jimmy, Jeremy, Andy, Tom, Nick, Robbie, Paulo, Sam and all the rest of my trainers, thanks so much for your guidance!  I promise I won't let you guys down!!

But, Personal trainers aren't like vending machines.  You can't just pull down on a lever and pull out your prize.  If that was the case, everybody in the world would be happy and healthy....at least we think that is how we would be.  Even when we don't think we're (trainers) making much of an impact, we are.  I want to tell you a story of something that happened about 3 weeks ago at work.  So, it was a Monday and Mondays are my morning shift starting at 6 AM.  Needles to say that it was a typical Monday startup for me....get up, shower, grab coffee and head to work.  Nothing special.  Since I don't work over the weekends at the gym, I never know if I am going to meet with someone first thing on Monday since I don't see who signs up until I arrive.  One person who I knew from previous interactions at the gym had signed up for my 6 AM Abs/Core class.  So, we got straight into the class.  Over the course of the 30 minute class, between the small breaks that were taken we had a chance to chat about life and things that had been going on with both of us.  This woman had stated to me that the reason she wanted to take my class that morning is because she 'felt fat'.  One thing I will say about this person is that she is in no way fat.  Trying to dig a little deeper, I shifted the conversation to the 'why'.  "Why do you think you're fat?"  She told me that she constantly compares herself to girls on Instagram and other social media sites as well as women she sees and knows in real life.  COMPARISON. The proverbial straight-jacket for most, if not all of us and the gym is a breeding ground for egos to come out and rear their ugly heads.  I told the girl, "Stop it! Comparing yourself is bad, although I understand where you're coming from."  We've all made comparisons with other people, it's human nature.  The difficult thing is getting beyond it and realizing that you truly are special the way you already are.  But most of us don't want to hear that crap when we're in struggle.

Flash forward to later that week.  This girl approached me again to say hi and to tell me that she had a major break through that week.  Of course I was intrigued and wanted to know what was up.  She had wanted to thank me for talking to her about comparison and the negative effects that it can have on your mindset and holding you back from realizing your true self.  How did she make this realization?  She was helping her 5 yr. old daughter pick out an outfit for summer camp and her daughter made the comment, "I hate this dress!"  The woman asked why and the girl said that she thinks she looks fat in it.  WHOA....that's a pretty big statement for a 5 year old.  The woman asked why she thought she looked fat in the dress and the girls response was the turning point for this woman.  The girl said, "Well, that's what you say about yourself in clothes!"  It was at that moment the woman had an epiphany and that day she went online, deleting all traces of the negative profiles that she has followed that were giving her that distorted view of how the female body is supposed to look.  On some level, she already knew that she was being ridiculous with comparing herself with other women but in our society, that's what we do anymore.  Constantly comparing to what's better, newer, stronger.  What actually shows our strength off the most is the mental toughness that we exude each day in difficult situations that life throws at us.  How we handle them shows more about our character than lifting heavy weights can show you.

Another story I've got for you is one that happened just 2 days ago.  I was meeting with a woman for the first time and knew somewhat of her story from the front desk staff person who signed her up at the gym.  We sat down and started talking about losing weight, dieting...the usual.  After telling me about a surgery that she had, she started to break down and cry.  I am totally fine with this happening in my sessions because obviously people need a release to the pain they have been holding onto and if they need to let it go during the session and cleanse themselves, by all means, I'd rather have them cry a river.  This person was so distraught and didn't know what direction to take and at that point she had described her situation as helpless.  I stood up and wrapped my arms around her and said that everything was going to be okay.  She hugged for a good minute and a half before sitting back down.  I've never had that happen before and the more I find myself in situations such as this with a client, the more I'm understanding how important I am to those to seek my help and my advice.

So in some way, I'm not a personal trainer.  I'm so much more than that.  I'm a psychologist, a friend, a life coach, an encourager.  I'm that friend of yours who gets very excited when your accomplish great things in your life and stands by your side and is your personal cheerleader.  I remember watching an episode of Designing Women a LONG time ago and one of the actresses said that wouldn't it be wonderful if we all could just walk out on a stage and receive a 15 minute standing ovation from the people in our lives that were important to us?  It's trainers jobs to help unlock the potential inside of you that has always been their, you just need the confidence boost to know that you can do it.  And you will.  You'll become the person that you're supposed to be, underneath the veil of sadness, anger and anxiety, you'll proudly prevail.  All you have to do is reach deep down inside and find that spot that contains all that you hope and dream for yourself.