We’re Born. We Grow. We Live. We Die.
Last week, a co-worker of mine, Jason, gave me this book titled Healthy Aging by Dr. Andrew Weil. He had said that someone gave him this book as a gift when he turned 30. For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Weil, he is a doctor that is very big on holistic forms of health and finding natural cures for diseases. He has said that there is a natural cure for almost any disease if you use the right combination of herbs and other ingredients. In this book (and I’ve only just finished the introduction), Dr. Weil looks at the reality of aging. In the intro of the book, he says that in 2002 he turned 60. He had some time after a surprise birthday party to reflect on his life and its direction. He came to the conclusion that at 60 years old, this would be a time when his powers and body would start to diminish. At age 60 is usually the time the human body starts to go down that long, sometimes short road where organs may start to fail, bones aren’t as strong and other problems may start to appear. He then goes onto to say that aside from those issues, the run of the mill issues like wrinkles, grey hair, decreased libido, shrinking and so many more problems occur. It’s enough to scare you straight.
I hate the fact that as we get older, friends from our past sometimes move out of our lives’ for one reason or another. It’s like God is playing a huge chess games and we’re the pieces. Mere pawns in this huge life game. But sometimes, there are those friends who you have in your life that you really shouldn’t. Toxic friends are those that bring you down and keep you from reaching your full potentials. These people should be dropped from your life unless they change theirs! I’m often reminded of an old Irish drinking song, mostly sung when friends part ways. It’s called “The Parting Glass” and wishes friends that part good health or other good tidings to each other as they get up to leave on last time.
For all of us, this is pretty much the cycle. We live in an age that is constantly trying to slow down and even stop the time clock. From botox to collagen injections, people go to great lengths to recapture their youth, no matter what the cost. But even with all those enhancements, you know as well as I do that no matter what you do to your body, brain and ‘gears’, the inevitable awaits us all. Over the past couple months, there has been a running theme with some conversations that I have had with friends as well as family. That theme is aging and getting older. I’m nearing my 30th birthday and it’s funny in a way, how people give you their own anecdotes and stories about when they turned 30. They try to tell you that after 30, it’s all “down hill”. Which we all know, is not true. I’m using this blog entry to tell you about some of the stories that have made me think about the prospect of growing older and some things that I’ve learned through the years.
Last week, a co-worker of mine, Jason, gave me this book titled Healthy Aging by Dr. Andrew Weil. He had said that someone gave him this book as a gift when he turned 30. For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Weil, he is a doctor that is very big on holistic forms of health and finding natural cures for diseases. He has said that there is a natural cure for almost any disease if you use the right combination of herbs and other ingredients. In this book (and I’ve only just finished the introduction), Dr. Weil looks at the reality of aging. In the intro of the book, he says that in 2002 he turned 60. He had some time after a surprise birthday party to reflect on his life and its direction. He came to the conclusion that at 60 years old, this would be a time when his powers and body would start to diminish. At age 60 is usually the time the human body starts to go down that long, sometimes short road where organs may start to fail, bones aren’t as strong and other problems may start to appear. He then goes onto to say that aside from those issues, the run of the mill issues like wrinkles, grey hair, decreased libido, shrinking and so many more problems occur. It’s enough to scare you straight. Further into the introduction, Dr. Weil says that some of the things we did when we were 20 years old are not appropriate for when we are 30 years old. You grow. You mature. Your body can’t shoot hoops or play baseball like it used to. So it’s time to let that part of your life end and prepare it for the next chapter. This may sound horrible but it all depends on the way that you look at it. Take Jason, for example. He just turned 37 at the beginning of December and from my perspective, I don’t think that he is doing badly at all for himself. He has a great job, terrific family, awesome sons and he’s an all-around genuinely great guy to know. He’s somebody who I look up to not only as a co-worker but as a fellow man. He embodies the qualities that make up an upstanding, honest, caring and nurturing guy.
On another occasion, I was talking to another co-worker of mine last week. Her name is Janet. We were sitting around on Friday of last week, after the students left for the day just talking about the holidays. She started talking about how as happy as the holidays were supposed to be, it’s hard when you lose a loved one. Without going into much detail, she began to talk about her mother and how she never had an adult relationship with her, as she was taken when Janet was young. She never got to see all of Janet’s accomplishments and never got to know her as the strong-willed and great adult woman that she is today. It took all I had in me not to cry. I can’t fathom at the very least what it feels like to lose a parent when you are young. I don’t know what I would do if when I came home at night, my parents weren’t there. I know the day will come when they won’t be, but hopefully that won’t be for a long while yet. But then again, it’s not my decision to make. It would just feel that there would be nobody to be proud of me anymore, you know? Whenever something good happens in my life, I can’t wait to share it with my mom and dad. It would be a tremendous void if they weren’t there.
Looking at my own life, I’ve had a lot of up and downs. And I’ve taken everything with a grain of salt. Taken my mistakes as learning experiences and done what I can to learn from people to help me in my journey. Something a lot of people don’t know about me is that I think about death pretty often. Not because I want to, mind you, but I stress over the prospect of not knowing when it’ll be my time. Any aches or pains, I blow totally out of proportion. Take today for example, I woke up and although I knew I had pulled a chest muscle, my brain told me that it may be something serious. I thought about it on and off for a good chunk of the day. Having the background of being in car accidents, stricken with disease….it’s easy to see why I would react this way. But when I was younger, I used to have dreams where I was actually dead or something along those lines. It was really morbid at the time but as I grew older, I got more in tune with ‘the end’ as it were from reading books and just through life experience.
If you think about it, it’s really not that farfetched. We’re all just people walking around endlessly in a never-ending spiral that keeps going around and around from day to day. We could all learn so much from each other, yet we decide to put up invisible walls and section ourselves off from learning about people from different walks of life other than our own. People are so afraid of getting hurt, whether it is emotionally, physically or even spiritually, that they choose not to reach out to others’. I understand it’s great to have your guard up in some situations but for once, couldn’t we all just take the time each day to learn something new about someone else? Is it really THAT tough?
I hate the fact that as we get older, friends from our past sometimes move out of our lives’ for one reason or another. It’s like God is playing a huge chess games and we’re the pieces. Mere pawns in this huge life game. But sometimes, there are those friends who you have in your life that you really shouldn’t. Toxic friends are those that bring you down and keep you from reaching your full potentials. These people should be dropped from your life unless they change theirs! I’m often reminded of an old Irish drinking song, mostly sung when friends part ways. It’s called “The Parting Glass” and wishes friends that part good health or other good tidings to each other as they get up to leave on last time.
Whether or not you believe in heaven, you have to be pretty naïve to admit that this whole thing called humanity and these beings walking around called people all happened by a big bang. Somebody is pulling the proverbial strings in this puppet show. I also believe that when you pass on to the next life, you will be reunited with all the people that have gone before you. My co-worker Janet wishes that you get to sit in a big movie theater and relive the best moments of your life. I had to laugh and smile at that thought. I wonder if I can eat popcorn while I’m watching the “This is Your Life” recap of my life.
Another thought I had while writing this blog was why do we kill ourselves trying to make ourselves look younger? Can’t we just age gracefully? Take my profession for example, Personal Training. Why beat your self up everyday in the gym when you know right well that one day, without any effort on your part, your looks are going to fade. Americans spend thousands of dollars each year, myself included, to help make themselves look good. It’s all about prolonging life, in my opinion. You have a margin of a few short decades to be an active, viable member of society before the grim reaper lurks around the corner to grab you. Why not look good for those short decades? Some people may not understand why you choose to beat yourself up in the gym day after day but reaping the benefits of healthy exercise and nutrition will come back ten-fold someday for you.
To wrap this excessively long blog up!, here’s what I’ve learning about aging:
It’s just a number. You are only as old as you feel. There is wisdom in age and maturity. When you’re young and beautiful, that’s an accident of nature but when you’re old and beautiful, that you’ve created yourself. Embrace yourself, no matter what age you are. You deserve to be celebrated.
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